When We Start Living to Work Instead of Working to Live

Nearly every week, I sit across from patients in my Silicon Valley clinic who come in for anxiety, depression, insomnia, chest pain, high blood pressure, or chronic fatigue. As we talk, the same story unfolds again and again: long hours, relentless pressure, too little sleep, very little movement, and almost no time to rest or be present with family.

Most work from morning until evening, come home briefly, and then log back on late into the night. Over time, this pattern has quietly become normalized, especially in Silicon Valley and other high-pressure work environments. Medically, it is deeply unhealthy.

When I first meet these patients, it often feels like a quiet guessing game. The way they describe how they are treated at work frequently reveals where they work. It has become an unsettlingly familiar pattern.

There is a growing sense of intimidation in many workplaces. Performance reviews, constant evaluations, criticism, and being placed on various tracks have created an environment where people are afraid to slow down or speak up. I see patients tremble as they describe their work situations, fearful that taking care of their health could cost them their job.

Even when their bodies are clearly signaling distress, they hesitate to slow down.

I see the deeper consequences of this every day. I care for women and men who, behind closed exam room doors, finally allow themselves to break down, exhausted, unwell, and overwhelmed. Some put off seeking care until they are seriously ill and need emergency treatment. Others push through symptoms out of fear of missing work, only to later face life-altering diagnoses that might have been prevented much earlier.

What troubles me just as much is how hard it has become to convince people that their health matters more than their job. Working eighteen hours a day is not healthy. No amount of productivity outweighs sleep, mental health, or physical well-being. Yet many patients struggle to accept this. They feel guilty resting. They worry about falling behind.

From a medical perspective, chronic stress, lack of sleep, and long periods of sitting increase the risk of heart disease, stroke, metabolic conditions such as diabetes, anxiety, and depression. I am seeing these issues appear earlier and earlier in people who are talented, driven, and following the expectations placed on them.

For many patients, the only way I can truly treat them and help them begin to feel better is by creating space for physical and mental recovery through medical leave, when their environment is unsustainable. There is often a quiet relief in their eyes when they realize it is okay to slow down.

A simple question sits beneath all of this: Would you want your spouse, your child, your sibling, or your parent to live this way at work? To carry constant pressure, sacrifice sleep, miss family dinners, and feel guilty for resting? If the answer is no, then it is worth questioning why this has become acceptable for anyone. Managers and employers have an opportunity to recognize human limits and support more sustainable ways of working. This is where meaningful change can begin, not just at the individual level, but at the level of leadership.

I often think back to my childhood, when my dad would not stay a minute past five and working eight to five was simply the norm. Dinner with family was routine, not rare, and time away from work was acceptable. That balance gave people perspective and quietly protected their health.

When we start living to work instead of working to live, something essential is lost. Balance fades, and burnout quietly takes its place. No job is worth illness, and no organization truly benefits when people are exhausted or unwell. Health is not optional; it is the foundation on which everything else rests. It’s worth pausing to consider whether the way we work supports our health or slowly changes our relationship with it, from something we protect to something we sacrifice.

Dr, Sapna Rajput

Board Certified Family Medicine Physician

Mountain View Primary Care Medical Clinic

drsapnarajput.com